“Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking, Loving might be a mistake but it's worth making.”

Time to start Exploring...
I've been single for most of my life. It's just how I've learned to live, and I've felt comfortable doing so. It may have something to do with my single 24 year old sister, or my mama whose been single for 13 years, more than half my life. Either way I've become an independent woman. And as I have liked it, and have felt comfortable being independent, it has the down sides too. I've become prone to moving on before something happens. Because I was content with my life and how it was. I'd see couples in high school all the time, and wish I'd have a boyfriend, but I'd turn around and run, when given the opportunity to change the relationship status. I also see being in a relationship a special thing. I don't want to go around holding hands or kissing someone I'm not too crazy about- but I still like him. I don't hold hands with friends. If I hold your hand, I like you.

But I guess I'm writing this because I've been wanting to change. And have been looking into it. I've been asked up at college, and home a lot more- "You are so pretty, why are you single?!". I don't know about the pretty part, but why am I single? Here's my problem (ONE of them)-- I go to school up at BYU-Idaho, but recently moved to Dallas beforehand, and reside there on breaks. I'm bouncing around from state to state, I don't know how I could be in a relationship. I can do long--distance but it would be hard, for him. I like to think of others and how they would feel, and I don't think he'd be up to it. But isn't life about risks and challenges? I'm never going to be in a relationship, unless I wait till i'm 30 and settle-down, single, named the cat lady. I don't want to be lonely all that time.....

So I've decided somethings gotta change. But just the thought of putting my all into it, and him backing out on it. That's how life goes right? You just gotta give it your all...This is an article I found from some website called BrianKim.net. And I like it... so here we go....

When you were young, you didn’t even understand the notion of risk. You just did. You ate paint chips off the wall, you tasted the handful of dirt you scooped up in your garden, you stuck your fingers wherever you wanted to, but as time passed and you grew older, you were slowly introduced and taught the notion of risk by others around you and it was as if a square marking your boundaries was slowly painted around you. Soon enough, you stopped risking. You stayed confined within the box that was drawn around you by others and you accepted it. First off, let’s tackle the part of “not doing”. Why do we hesitate to take risks? How can we get back that trait of boldness we had as a child? 


You’ve got to understand that risk is nothing but a label and the reason why risk yields so much power over us is precisely because of that. Labels are extremely powerful because we tend to pass judgment solely based on that. When something is labeled, we equate some sort of image to it. [Kind of difficult when It's me though- I don't think I can be labeled!] Armani – fancy suit. Ferrari – fast car. Nike – running shoes. In this case, what image does the label of risk conjure up? Imminent danger. [Haha I like that, but it's so true!] We judge risk as imminent danger.

We need to change the label. Stop thinking of risk as just a one shot do or die situation.[Oh, so it's not a do or die situation? Whew!.... -_-] Instead, start thinking of risk as a journey of exploration. [I like to explore. I've been pretty good at that- branching out, meeting new people, living in two different cities on my own...] It’s not just about one shot. It’s about a journey, a journey you choose to embark on for the purpose of exploring a different path. [I know I want my journey to be worthwhile. I want to have done everything I've even thought about doing...]

Columbus did not take a risk. He chose to go on a journey to explore the new world. [Good Point] Entrepreneurs don’t take risks. They choose to go on a journey to explore other means of making a living.

People mistakenly think that if they take a risk and it doesn’t turn out the way they expect it to, that it’s all over.[Yeah, let's be honest. I've thought about that a lot...] The sky will fall, their world will come crashing down, and that they’ll never bounce back from it. It’s precisely because of that one shot do or die mentality that prevents people from taking risks. Step back and look at the forest. Don’t look at the trees. Risk is not just about looking at one tree. It’s about exploring an entire forest. Go on a journey of exploration and focus on your desired outcome. Change the labels. Go on a journey of exploration and focus on the desired outcome and the word risk will have power over you no more. When you do this on a consistent basis, you'll find that a new label for risk emerges.

Okay. So I need to explore. But how do I fix living so independent in life for so long--to letting myself be happy with someone else. It's a man eat man world out there, and I've learned to fend for myself. It doesn't help really that I'm southern, because we tend to be stubborn. Have you heard of this? The emotional wall...dun dun dun....

Making a relationship work when you're scared to get hurt is at times difficult, but definitely not impossible. Decide what it is about past relationships that have hurt you. Make a list, if it helps, for you to determine what things previously went wrong. Figure out what mistakes you may have made, if any, so that you can vow to change things in your new relationship. Realize, and find closure.

[Perfect. Done and Done.] Give your new relationship a chance. A new love means a new start. [I like new starts :) ] Try to let go of the pain and realize that not all relationships are the same. No two people will be alike in a relationship and what happened to you before is not likely to happen again.

Okay so I think I can do this. It doesn't seem that hard. Things I've learned... 1) There's no such thing as risk, just learning to explore. 2) Open up as much as possible day by day, until you feel comfortable. 3)  As you get more and more into the relationship you'll feel more comfortable, and able to trust more easily.

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Quotes I ran over that i've liked...

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

~ Mark Twain

"The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."

~ William Jennings Bryan